exercise

i did it
20 minutes
treadmill
out
of
breath
doubt
will
do again
what was
i
thinking

identity theft

missing: one 40lb tomboy.
long light brown hair with bangs completely covering her big, beautiful, brown eyes
date missing: thursday
nate and i had an interview with the headmistress at "genius" school. emmy and maddie stayed with a friend. upon returning home that day, emmy asked if she could wear her cinderella dress.
her cinderella dress.
i said, "you want to do what?" it has hung in her closet, untouched for two years. in fact, the one and only time that she wore it (previous to thursday), i forced it on her body as she lay kicking and screaming. on friday she asked to dress up again. thankfully, it only lasted an hour and she was back in shorts (yes, it is only 30 degrees) and turtle neck.

worse yet, the day came several weeks ago when she asked if she could have a barbie. i thought i had escaped barbies, but alas, i am going to have to start shopping in the little girls aisle. (just for the record, we bought her a barbie for v-day. barbie is somewhere in em's room naked. )

if any one sees my little tomboy, i would like her back. i'm not sure what to do with a "girly" girl.

whizmo

whizmo - to fly
the baloon whizmoed away.
from the dictionary of emmy's grand and wonderful imagination.
time for me to whizmo to emmy's room

whispers

1 kings 19
"the Lord told Elijah,
go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by
then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. after the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. after the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. and after the fire came a gentle whisper. then elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."
elijah cleared his mind. he ignored the rumblings of his situation and focused on the stillness. that's when he realized that that whisper wasn't just another distraction, but the voice of God. our pastor preached on this last week. you can look it up at hamiltonhills.org.

piano lessons

yesterday, we were listening to andre watts play chopin. i asked emmy if she would play like that some day. she responded "yes, teach me now" too bad she doesn't want to follow the written notes or timing, but one day...

nine

it has been nine years since our engagement.
nine splendid years
i wouldn't change anything
hard to believe so much time has past
it's a lifetime ago. world's away.
i wouldn't want to go back to my life before n-
i was empty. i was out of place. but i didn't know it.
now, i am complete. i am centered. i am free to be me.
nine

how sweet it is

roasted marshmallows
it's been years
oh so delectable

puddleglum

maddie - "not happy"
but like her fictional friend she lifts her chin up and puts her best foot forward.
constant

restoration

but as for me i will always have hope;
i will praise you more and more.
my mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though i know not its measure.
though you have made me see many troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will bring me up.
ps71

out of context

but God will shoot [him] with arrows...
i'm confident the psalmist wasn't
speaking of cupid's arrows , but . . .
ps 64:7

first excuse

yesterday, i asked maddie to help clean up and she replied, "i tired." this was the first time she used an excuse to avoid doing something she didn't want to do. typically, she just runs away shouting, "No!" or "No way!"
excuses, excuses, excuses...

waiting

i'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why
i let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky
but now i've grown beyond the walls to where i've never been
and it's still winter in my wonderland

i close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath
the farther off and already it just might make the life i lead a little more
than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue
and all the clouds don't ever change the shape of who i am in You

i'm waiting for the world to fall
i'm waiting for the scene to change
i'm waiting when the colors come
waiting to let my world come undone

when i catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me
my view is changing me
my view is changing
i'm waiting...

jars o f clay
waiting for the world to fall
narnia

to a dear whimsical boy i don't even know

the time has come to realize
and see the plan you've been designed for
so face the fear of all unknown
and see the heart inside
so open up your eyes

jeremy camp
narnia (inspired songs)

all is vanity in maddie's closet

maddie hid in her closet today in order to avoid her nap. when i found her and picked her up, she started touching all the clothes in the closet. she came across the dress she wore in a wedding in october and said with a radiant smile, "i pretty!" obviously her self concept is in tact even with the scar on her chin.