the term socialization is defined as:
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
the top definition sends shivers down my spine for obvious reasons. ownership and control are pretty strong words!
the second definition is all well and good. of course, i want my children to be considerate and loving of others. one might argue (not me of course, cause i hate to argue - ha ha ha) that home-schooling gives them more opportunities to be sociable with a wider range of age groups better equipping them for the future. after all, once you graduate from college you don't continue to travel in same-age social herds. you work with and communicate with people of differing ages. most home-schooled children learn this skill much earlier than traditionally educated children.
the last definition also sends chills to my soul. it states, "convert or adapt to the needs of society." society is adapting to sin at an alarming rate; that's certainly not what i want for the girls.
further research into this topic revealed the goals of socialization.
Arnett,[1] in presenting a new theoretical understanding of socialization (see below), outlined what he believes to be the three goals of socialization:
1. impulse control and the development of a conscience
(shouldn't that be the dad and the mom's responsibility not another child or teacher?)
2. role preparation and performance, including occupational roles, gender roles, and roles in institutions such as marriage and parenthood
(these roles have been completely skewed by our society from there original intent. do i want the girls to understand these roles and others as God designed them or as man has distorted them?)
3. the cultivation of sources of meaning, or what is important, valued, and to be lived for.
(once again, shouldn't this be the responsibility of dad and mom - especially christian dads and moms. what if those cultivating your children have different values?)
i believe that the family is the primary unit of society. it is also the first institution established by God. a child learns unconditional love, trust and faith from their family. his status doesn't change on the whims of his peers. it is constant. he is always loved and taught to show love. the child learns values, principles, and truth from people who have his best interest at heart. the child will learn to value creativity and their own uniqueness from those who encourage them to think outside the box and be what God created them to be - instead of being shoved into the box and told to be like everyone else. (yuck! the world would be so boring if everyone conformed to the ordinary!!! i'm so thankful that isn't God's desire for his children!)
can a christian kiddo survive public school and turn out ok. - absolutely!!! i think they will struggle more because for 8 or more hours a day they will be enveloped in lies from every direction, but it can work.
also, not every child should be home-school and not every parent should home-school!!! trust me, i'm not for home-schooling if it's not done well! every parent needs to figure out what's best for their kiddo. maybe that is public school, or private school(that's another post) or home-school.
btw, our oldest went to public school in k5, so i'm not just defending the home-school movement b/c that's what we do. we've been there and done that. yes, she was socialized by other five and six year old kids. it's not all that it is cracked up to be.
8 comments:
hee hee, well I didn't want to take over Lauren's post ;)I think you and I are a lot alike in our debativeness, so from the getgo I think we can assume (hopefully) that nobody will be offended.
First of all, although I may seem to be defending the stance of public schooling on many points, I am by no means demeaning home schooling or private schooling or any kind of schooling that you may be able to think of. Neither am I trying to exalt public schooling.
I think that the statement "home-schooling moms really despise the term socialization. lol." is somewhat flawed, if you are referring to all homeschooling moms. Because, as previously mentioned, I am a homeschooling mom (although not exclusively), and I don't despise the term. I also home schooled my senior year in high school, wanted to be home schooled earlier, have many home schooled/ homeschooling friends. I have even tagged along for some of my friends social activities in connection with homeschooling (band, basketball, and other social gatherings). I think it may be more accurate to say that homeschooling moms/ home schoolers despise being looked at as socially inept for not "socializing" the way some outsiders see fit. I would have to agree with that one.
In my experience, any dictionary has a variety of definitions of many terms that require semantic consideration, and it seems like on L's blog you paid more attention to the definitions with which there were negative connotations. So to go ahead and give clarity to what I was referring to without having a need to delve into context clues...
Socialization when I am speaking of it personally with reference to my daughter, refers basically to being able to interact well with others. Socialization without being socialistic (socialism being something which I am highly opposed to), is possible to do well. I prefer this definition:
"The term socialization is used by sociologists, social psychologists and educationalists to refer to the process of learning one’s culture and how to live within it." Yes, in more extreme cases this can lead to the scarier definition which you have stated. But for J, when I am speaking of socializing her, it is about being able to interact well with others (working together, being respectful, etc.), all the while being confident enough stand up for what she believes in, hopefully in a gracious and meaningful way. And yes, it is the parents' responsibility to instill in kids what they should believe. Also, when you consider the "learning one's culture" portion of the aforementioned definition, it really isn't so scary. If it were replaced with the word "society" (as it was in one of the definitions that you mentioned), that would make it a little scarier to me. But "culture" doesn't simply refer to society, as there are so many sub-cultures within a society. And the Christian and family cultures play the most important role in my daughter's socialization. Being able to function well in society as a whole while being a solid representation of Christian and family culture is important to me.
As far as the statements you mentioned about some "goals" of socialization really being the parents' responsibility, I agree with you 100%. I don't see any reason why an involved parent cannot instill these things in their children while still "socializing" them, (with the definition that I presented, not the ones that you posted). You stated:
"i believe that the family is the primary unit of society. it is also the first institution established by God. a child learns unconditional love, trust and faith from their family. his status doesn't change on the whims of his peers. it is constant. he is always loved and taught to show love. the child learns values, principles, and truth from people who have his best interest at heart. the child will learn to value creativity and their own uniqueness from those who encourage them to think outside the box and be what God created them to be - instead of being shoved into the box and told to be like everyone else. (yuck! the world would be so boring if everyone conformed to the ordinary!!! i'm so thankful that isn't God's desire for his children!)
---I agree. And not only do I think that a kiddo can survive public schools and turn out ok, I believe that they can THRIVE in public schools and turn out more than ok, and help influence others to turn out passionately pursuing God where they otherwise would not without the Christian's influence. Likewise, others can do the same thing THRIVING and influencing others from their home schooled setting. Again, I am not an all or nothing person. It doesn't have to be one or the other, because God has called individuals and families to different things and to different purposes. And one is not dominant over the other as being "better" because one parent can better home-school their children, or because another child can better function in a public school setting. It's all about how God made us, individually, with different strengths and different purposes in outreach. And that's why it is an individual decision. I am positive that we could do very well at home schooling exclusively, but I am not positive if that is God's WILL for us or not, and following God's will is more important to me than what my own abilities to do well, or what is convenient, or even what may "make sense" from the outside looking in.
All that being said, we are still planning on just taking our own decision one year at a time and following the Lord's leading. Not that I have lived all that long, but one thing that I have learned is that he calls us to new and different scenarios on an ongoing basis. The plan-ahead type-A part of me really doesn't like that :)
no offense taken.
at first glance it appears that i would only home-school, but every year we look at the options and decide which is best for the girls. there are pro and cons to each option.
"home-schooling moms really despise the term socialization" - after i posted that, i wondered if you would catch the hasty generalization. :-) i'm willing to restate that sentence. a good portion of moms despise that word evidenced not only in my sphere but also in the internet boards that i've come across. i agree with you that home-schoolers despise being looked at as socially inept for not 'socializing' the way some outsiders see fit."
I simply pasted the three dictionary definitions in order onto l's blog. i did not change the order to emphasize any one definition. the word has negative connotations. as i stated the second definition - to make fit for companionship with others - is all well and good. i do think we as parents should be primarily responsible for this duty.
ok, well i'll need to finish this argument later. sorry for the interuption, but i probably should feed the kiddos before awana. :-)
may the best youngest child win! ;->
Yea, I'll keep this short & sweet. I think home-schooling is a personal/family decision.
I've known people who were home schooled, public schooled, and private schooled and the results varied in all cases. I think you C are doing a fantastic job with your girls and I admire all of your parenting skills. I think the results of kids vary because of their home environment and as long as that is strong - then they will adapt well - no matter where they get their education.
Well put, Caslon.
Off topic:
J had Awana tonight too... we JUST started it 2 weeks ago at our church. Even though she doesn't technically make the age cut-off (since they follow the local school cut-off for 2 years before they are supposed to start kindy), they are allowing J to do Cubbies since, being a small church, the other option would be to go to nursery with the babies. (holy run-on sentence, batman!) She passed her bear-hug brochure tonight and got her shirt! She is very excited... I am so thankful we finally started something for the kiddos that really puts scripture in 'em.
glad to hear awana went well for j-! our closing ceremony is april 1st. if you just started when will your "season" end?
anyway... attempting to pick up where i left off...
"I simply pasted the three dictionary definitions in order onto l's blog. i did not change the order to emphasize any one definition. the word has negative connotations." i don't think we can set aside the negative connotations or the scary implications because the kiddos have to face these every day whether they are at home or at a tradition school (public or christian). they are facing issues far earlier than we ever had to and the issues are scary.
ok - so i can't seem to focus today - silly kids want to learn. :-) it comes down to us teaching our kids that we are in the world not of it.
like you said on fb - we essentially agree. thanks for the exercise, but i need to go figure out how to make a kaleidoscope for science.
We were hoping to start in the fall but our new building STILL wasn't done... we were hoping to start in January but our new building STILL ISN'T done, so we are just making due. It is kind of nice... we get a bit of a "trial run". We haven't implemented the point system yet... it will end when school is out for the summer and start back in the fall.
Just saw you had a blog recently and have been meaning to get over here and read a little...I actually just posted a little on this subject on my blog. Ha!
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